At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you traded sex for a burrito?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
