that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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