Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
