The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize