I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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