i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
