I can't breathe out the right side of my face
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
