you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
