1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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