If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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