I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
