My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
