what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
