"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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