Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
