Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize