Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
