you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
