I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
