just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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