I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
