Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
