Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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