I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
