this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
