You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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