My hand turned me down
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
