Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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