took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
