singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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