areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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