Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize