dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
