Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
