I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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