I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize