Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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