Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize