this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
