The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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