I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I wear drunk well.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i out mim tonsoeep
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
