I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
