those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
