a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
