one two three fourrrrnication!
the condom got lost in my hair
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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