I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
