My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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