using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
