I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
