so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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