Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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