Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Duck Duck Cougar?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
