is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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