Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
