Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
