i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
