He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
