we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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