i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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