i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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