So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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