Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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