Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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