Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
