he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
