He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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