make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
