so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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